5 Ways to Feel More Joy
5 Ways to Feel More Joy
and a surprising 6th you won’t want to miss.
5 ways to feel more Joy.
The power of positivity.
I recently read in a magazine about a study done at Harvard that concluded a positive outlook has more to do with longevity than exercise! I was intrigued. I can skip running and just look on the bright side? Sounds like a win win.
But here’s what is really interesting, that magazine also shared a study about how those who are more optimisitc, tend to say and report that they have super supportive partners even when they actually don’t. Sure there partners may be supportive, but the studies showed they were no more supportive that other people’s partners.
Ok here is why this is intruiging to me.
I like to think of myself as a positive person.
I actually do have an amazing and supportive partner! I know this. But also… do I? This study says maybe they are just human (*except that they are great).
look at that literal support right there. Proof is in the picture.
According to this study I just may be more likley to notice everything I love about them. But why isn’t this everyones default? Well one reason is this: We are programmed biologically to look for danger (what a buzz kill). Another reason is this: what we put our focus on, amplifies.
So call it manifestation, call it the reticular activating system in the brain, call it one of those two things because that’s what it is but here’s the simple answer:
The more we give our attention to something that is good or feels good, we will notice it more and our subconscious mind will work to create more of it. And: we will feel joy naturally.
The more we give our attention to something that is negative or feels bad, we will notice it more and our subconscious mind will work to create more of it. And: we will feel bad.
Here’s the good news of that:
If we begin, or even just try to notice what we like: our subconscious mind will begin to automatically look for more good. Meaning you will automatically feel more joy.
Sounds so easy, why isn’t everyone living in joy? Well contrast or “what we don’t like”, is part of the picture that helps us get clarity on what we do want. For example: before I found my super supportive partner (he actually is though) I went through a number of unsupportive partners. I had to experince the contrast first. And here’s what’s interesting, and a common story through many of my clients:
When we leave a bad relationship, or job, or city etc… when we try to change anything that seems “bad” if we continue to complain about all the things that went wrong, we are telling our mind :“This is what is. This is still our current story… please continue to look for more of what is familiar.”
It’s not until we change our story, till we notice the contrast and actively say:
“Ok actually this is what I’m now desiring, a relationship that is full of love, fun, and support (even if the same partner). A job where I can focus on growth, and learning, and giving back in a positive and easy way. A home where I feel safe, and comfortable, and that is so close to everything I love. These are the things I enjoy, and thinking about them now brings me joy in this moment so I will continue to think about them continuing to feel more joy.” and so: The subconscious mind hears the new story, sees what is now becoming familar, even if just in thought at first, and brings it to you.
“The more we give our attention to something that is good or feels good, we will notice it more and our subconscious mind will work to create more of it. And: we will feel joy naturally.”
Whether you believe it or not, whether you follow manifestation, or prefer to learn about the Reticular activating system in the brain. What we focus on will amplify.
So, I choose to focus on joy, and if you’d like to feel more joy right now with me here are some ways:
1. Imagine it.
Yes, imagining it works. While the bulk of my 1:1 work is helping people recover from trauma and open up to their own inner guidance which results in automatically feeling joy more often, here’s a secret that I don’t want to be secret: You can cultivate any emotion in your body that you want to right now. Including joy.
For example, maybe when thinking of the past, of grief, or of sad nostalgia, it may cause sad emotions in your body. What if you could look back on the past instead of with grief and sadness for what no longer is (or with anger for what was), but began to look at it as: “I so appreciate ____ about (insert your past time/person/event) and I really liked _____. It’s even influenced me because today, right now I can love and appreciate _____ about my life. I am so grateful and appreciate of that time I had and here’s how I can honor (them/or the past time if it was good) by being happy now. What would it feel like in my body to feel joy now?”
Then close your eyes and even if for a moment you can feel joy. That is enough to prove it is in you.
Build from there.
2. Imagine deeper.
The above example shows how to begin to turn around our negative thinking. Even if you are looking back because you loved the time, if you are wishing for the past to be anything other than what it was, you are in resistance. Your own energy, the divine life force energy that powers your body, is experienceing resistence.
A super simple way to know if you are in resistance:
Do you feel good? You are not in resistance.
Do you feel bad? You may be in some resistance.
It is not wrong to feel bad, or be in resistance, it’s simply information of what is. You can always start fresh in this exact moment. Here’s how: Say outloud or to yourself:
“I am chooseing to restart right now, letting go of any expectations of my past to be different than what is and I am choosing to now focus on what I do want, and what I do want to feel is joy, I’m going to feel it now and let my body and brain know this is what I’d like to feel more often”.
Then: close your eyes, imagine anything that truely brings you joy, imagine how good it feels to be in your body, to take a deep breath, to play with your children (esp when you are well rested). Imagine how good it feels to care for your body and drink plenty of water. Imagine how good it feels to feel the warmth of sun on your face. Imagine anything you need to, Imagine anything you’d love to experience in your future and feel joy and appreciation as if it has happened. Imagine what you love about your partner, your kids, your work, your home.
Feel into this often. Daily for a few minutes, and you will see a shift in what your mind gravitates to. Here’s a hint: It’ll be more joy.
3. Give yourself permission
to follow your inner guidance. Your intution is always trying to communicate with you. It is not possible that it is in some way cut off, turned off, or not available. You existing is proof that your higher self and your intuition is there for you, loves you and is available to guide you towards what will bring you joy. Allow it.
First step to allowing it: Pause and ask “When I am done reading this, what is in my best interest to do?” And then allow space for an answer to come. Maybe it’s in impulse to take a shower, to go for a walk, to play with your kids or dog, maybe it’s to make those chocolate bliss balls you’ve been wanting to make! Maybe it’s to go kiss your partner and tell them something you appreciate about them. Maybe it’s to go running or to write a book. I don’t know, but you do. You’re intuition is waiting to tell you.
4. Get Quiet
Meditation.
Meditation when practiced regularly (6 days a week on average) is proven to reduce stress.
When we reduce stress —> Our brain isn’t as wired to look for what is bad.
When we don’t look for what is bad —> We notice the good!
When we notice the good —> It amplifies. And either way: we feel joy.
Another great reason for meditaiton is if #3 above felt tricky to you, then meditation (this syle specifically) teaches you how to easily get a calm clear mind, and that will 100% improve your ability to hear your intuition. When we can clear excess thinking and anxiety (both accomplished here, or here) then we are quiet enough to hear guidance from our intuition. Meditation absolutely helps but, here’s a quick cheat sheet for intuition anyway:
Does what you’re doing make you feel better? Then you’re following intuition.
Does what you’re doing make you feel worse? Then you may not be following the signs intution is trying to show you.
Do you feel neutral and content? This is ok too! You are maintaining your life as it is, we don’t always have to be growing, but if you’d like to be —> Follow the ideas that bring you joy (these are your intuition speaking to you).
5. Heal your trauma.
Whoa. I know, sounds like a tall order. But here’s the thing. It’s a misconception that healing needs to be difficult or take long. Yes, the 1:1 sessions I offer speed this process and make it oh so easy (thank you PSYCH-K). But if I’m being honest with you, you have the ability to begin healing right now, to choose a new way right now, to choose a new emotion right now!!
It may feel absurd or too difficult to hold onto the feeling of joy. If this is the case, know you are doing really well, and you are not alone. It can feel very paralyzing sometimes, as if it is impossible to feel joy, or bliss, or anything other than the all consuming anger, grief, and depression we are experiencing.
I want to tell you another secret. Those emotions, they are not you. They may be in your energy field, and your brain may be (working properly to hold onto what is familiar) playing the same emotion, and it may feel impossible to let it go… but if you are here reading this, then this next line is for you.
You don’t need to carry that weight anymore. You in this exact moment, are enough. You deserve to feel joy, you are loved, you are enough.
Trust that your intution is trying to guide you to how to let go of the pain and the weight of trauma, maybe that’s why you clicked on this page. You deserve to feel joy.
And you can start right now.
6. Bonus. Apprecation.
A slight varient from gratitude, something I recently learned the difference of. While both are good to feel, appreciation is a pure love, or “appreication”, for all that is. Vs gratitude, has a bit of “I’m grateful now because of what was once worse for me”. Appreciation is “wow I appreicate that in all that it is and was” To me it’s a cleaner more all encompassing form. As in: I appreciate the whole of the existance, not just the best parts of it.
I recently heard the example of ‘If you could instantly manifest, you’d show up for a river raft ride, and just go right back to your car and be done with the ride. Since the end is the “destination”. But you didn’t sign up to just go back to your car immediatly. You came for the ride. With the bumps, and the contrast, and the pockets of difficulty. The joy is in the ride.’
What if we could appreicate the whole of our life. In the painful moments, as well as the amazing. And as we release the attachment to our pain and trauma by doing this, we allow our mind to look for more things we want to appreciate, more things we enjoy, that bring us happiness, balance and love. What if we could do that?
We can. My challenge to you is to write a list of just 5 things you really love and appreciate about your life. Then when you are done write 5 more, and then 5 more!
Each day for 1 week, add just 5 things to your list, review it, feel the joy you feel as you add to it and review it. And know with all of your soul that you can create more joy in your life, and you can start right now.
Comment below or share on instagram and tag me, what is on your list of things that you appreciate? ❤️